The Female Masturbation Taboo

Among the many emerging trends this year, there is a lot of talk going on around female masturbation, particularly among the sexual wellness experts and companies. Though male masturbation has been a topic commonly discussed, joked about, included in popular media, and even aided to with porn and magazines. But whenever it comes to female masturbation, the topic has been rather hushes, whispers and a few giggles amongst friends.

From gynecologists not addressing the topic when speaking about sexual health, to promises of discreet packaging by sexual wellness brands, the female masturbation has been a taboo for many, many years now.

While some cultures and countries do this by limiting women’s exposure to the society by expecting them to remain home, focus on house chores and even limiting their educational opportunities, others do it physically by gynoecium, chastity belts, etc. In such severe circumstances, women are not only afraid, but unaware of their own sexual aspirations, and are mentally and sexually only prepared to procreate or please their male counterparts.

The western world too is rather harsh on women who are sexually liberated and confident. Female masturbation is still shamed upon, women are still embarrassed to talk about their pleasures, and slut-shaming women with multiple partners is still common. Nothing scares our society more than women taking it in their own hands (literally) to pleasure themselves and have control over their own sexuality.

Here are three big problems with today’s western world of sexual wellness:

1. The Orgasm Gap is for real

There is an orgasm gap, and it must be addressed, though more often than not it is shoved under the carpet (or bed, in this case). Even in sexual education class, sexual intercourse is usually defined as an act that begins with the penis being inserted into the vagina, and successfully ends with the man reaching an orgasm and ejaculating or coming. There is no mention of the female pleasure, orgasm, or even her clitoris! There is certainly no mention of the importance of foreplay or how to arouse women.

2. Porn is for men

The porn industry is often a place where young adults learn the most about sexual intercourse, and then, throughout their lives, this “education” or is reinforced as they ejaculate to porn that is in fact tailor-made to cater to the male fantasy and masturbation. Even lesbian porn is created for men, rather than homosexual or bi-sexual women.

3. Sex toys are for the kinky

There is this widespread notion that sex toys is for kinky women, and owning a dildo is rather embarrassing. Women are still shy to buy sex toys in order to please themselves, and are quickly labeled or perceptions as horny, as if it’s a bad thing! Women having a sexual appetite is considered almost “trash”, while men not having a sexual appetite is perceived as abnormal. The sex toy taboo is is even more so apparent when women are in relationships. “Why would a woman need a sex toy if she has a boyfriend or a husband?” you will often hear.

Women are made to feel that they need men to satisfy their sexual needs – because honestly, in today’s world, women can do pretty much everything else that men can. If they do not need men for sex either, anymore, that would throw the patriarchal order off balance.